Botan’s Heartbroken Healing
Eternity
tigers_in_siberia@yahoo.com


Stupid, stupid me. How stupid could a girl ever get? Why am I telling myself this? I know that it is a pointless match with myself. I fell and fell hard when I knew it was a losing case.

I walk over to the large golden doors and press the com button. "It's Botan. Open up." The doors open for me. All I see at first is a hallway. That's usual so I keep going. The hallway widens and finally ends with a room. A very large room. The room was full of demons running all over the place or yelling on phones or ordering underlings about. Also usual so I didn't stop to chat with anyone like I usually do when I have free time.

Regardless of what some people say, demons are very nice people to have as friends. That is as long as they are the good demons that love to help out with all the work. The bad demons don't chat or do work unless tearing up a person or being is work then they love that chore with a passion. I don't converse with those types very often. Only when the situation calls for immediate action like when Yusuke has to go into their realm to retrieve a very small someone who was kidnapped. Now that that is over, I can laugh at it. It was kind of funny. The nicer demons are like everyday type of people and like to talk to someone who is living, every once and a while. Some of them have very interesting things to say, so I listen and learn things I normally would have never learned.

One demon didn't see me until the last second and had to do a spectacular move in order to save the armful of paperwork from falling.

"Oh, hi Botan." He said once he got the situation under control.

"Hello George. Are you going to Koenma's office with all of that?" I asked, knowing full well that he was. George was the only demon who wasn't totally afraid of the demon prince of hell. I even suspected that he respected and looked up to the toddler price. That was good. Koenma was looking kind of down lately and a good friend or two might help to cheer him up.

Why am I feeling worried all of a sudden for Koenma? Those were dangerous thoughts that shouldn't surface at this time. I carefully put them in the back of my mind for later reference. It wouldn't do for me to show up in his office while contemplating these odd feelings. No, that wouldn't be good at all.

"Yeah." Thank you George for bringing me back to the here and now.

"Well, I could take those to him for you if you like. I'm on my way to his office right now anyway."

"Oh could you? I owe you big for this, Botan." His obvious relief gave me a stab of guilt. I was doing this in part because I wanted to talk with Koenma alone and have no distractions but I knew that he felt that I was going out of my way to do this for him. Mentally, I sighed. Oh well. At least things will work out this way.

"Of course. It's no trouble at all."

"Are you sure?" He asked dubiously.

"Yes, yes." I grab the papers. They're heavier then I originally thought. Perhaps he does owe me for this one. How much does this stack weigh anyway? Fifty pounds? I sniffed daintily. Koenma was about to get a word of advice whether he liked it or not.

I hefted my way into his office and drop the stack of papers on his desk. The loud 'thud' startled him from his nap. His surprised eyes took in the scene of the papers and of my standing there and quickly caught up with the situation.

Beautiful eyes, my mind supplied while I was distracted. I backed up mentally to review that thought. Now where did that come from? To fully understand ideas and to get them to go away, you must stand back and observe what that particular idea said. Yes, now that I look, that impression was perfectly right. His eyes are beautiful. They are brown with gold flecks that turned the entire color of the eyes golden when they hit the light just right. Whoa there. Hold it right there. I thought I was going to store up those and review them later. Obviously it wasn't going to be happening that away.

"Yes Botan." Koenma asked in his sort of nasally voice, bringing me back to the real world.

"Oh uh I want to give you a piece of advice before I come to the reason why I'm here. Those demons of yours do more work then you think. Do you have any idea how much those papers weigh when stacked together?"

"Well, demons were built to be able to carry two tons if necessary. What does that have to do with anything?"

I huffed, growing mad with him. "Well, I think you should reward them. Those things must weigh over a few tons. No wonder they're so strong. With this type of job who wouldn't get strong?"

"Good point. I'll note it and look at it whenever I have free time."

I snort mentally. That really means never since he doesn't have free time. When he does, it's when his father is here working instead of him and that is like never. I wonder just how many things he has on that list to do in his "free time" and if my suggestion will ever reach his eyes in oh say the next hundred or so years. Oh well. I did the best I could.

"What is the real reason that you're in my office? It isn't to read me some demon right law or something like that. I know it. You're troubled about something."

Right, just get right to the point. That's our not so little demon prince for you. Never one to skirt things, so why should I. I started trembling. So light that no one but myself could see it. I already knew the answer to that question. I was scared. How do I start? Why in the heck am I confessing to the prince of hell? That was dangerous turf and I knew it. Koenma had the power to do anything in the universe to me for less reason then a friend coming for a chat. I'm not scared of him as a person but of his position. He is my friend. I truly hope that he considers me a friend as well.

Now, how to start this conversation. "Yes, you are right as usual. I guess I just came here hoping for a friendly ear to listen to my sorrows."

He brightened. "Ah, so you're not here for the prince but the person." He seemed elated. Weird. He cocked his head in confusion. "Now what problem are you bringing for me?"

"Well, you see, I fell in love with this guy." Even odder, he seemed crestfallen. I hurried on. "And well the guy has a girlfriend already." Now he looked just plain dangerous. Why oh why did I have to bring my problems to him? I asked myself for the thousandth time.

His eyes, his beautiful eyes were mere slits. "I see. You know that this guy has a girlfriend but you couldn't help but fall in love with him. Am I right?" His voice was dead serious. It was like he was daring me to disagree with him. It wasn't like I could deny what he said anyway. He had it right on.

"Yes. I just don't know how I'm going to get over him. I thought that you might know more about this then me."

His chuckle lightened my mood. He was amused by all of this. That little devil was just plain amused. If I had any energy I would have killed him with my bare hands but as it was all I could do was turn bright red. Guys, oh they infuriate me!

"That is a very easy situation to get out of." A different voice said. I looked up to see that Koenma was in his adult form. His brown hair was long and wavy. He was missing that headdress that had his name on it but now had the word JR written on his forehead. The only things that didn't change were his eyes. Those beautiful golden brown eyes were still staring at me with amusement.

I forgot how to breathe for a second. He really was breathtakingly handsome. No wonder all the girls in the realms seem to be so taken with him. Then his words registered. "Well then tell me the solution." I demanded a bit too harsh.

He leaned back in his chair and folded his hands behind his head. "Nope. That's not how it works. You have to be nicer to me."

"WHAT!" That rotten little scoundrel. When he dies I'm not going to show him a bit of mercy.

"Yup. I think you're being mean to me so I won't tell you the answer to you problem until you apologies to me."

What is he getting at? I stopped for a moment. Dang him. He was being playful. That little baka was messing around with me.

Well, two can play at this game. I do act like a blond at times because it most benefits me. You can't live years and years and not get smart but being a blond makes enemies underestimate you and then it benefits the whole not only the one. One thing I have learned to do as a blond is prancing like a blond. Now was the time to see if I ever perfected it.

I pranced over and sat down on his desk. He got the look like a deer got right before a car crashed into it. It's working, I thought with glee. I bent over and grinned as his face turned just as red as mine was just a few minuets ago.

"I'm being nice to you." Now that I had a little bit of time to think, I wondered why in the heck I was using this to get his solution. I know that, given time, I would have figured it out for myself. So why in the heck was I doing this? Some little voice whispered to me but I couldn't hear it.

He swallowed nervously. "The answer is to fall in love with a different guy. Find one that you could like and force yourself to always think about him. End of story."

I backed away slowly and grinned. "Now why didn't I think of that?" I frowned. "But who can I love?" The whisper got louder. What was it saying? I tried listening further to no avail. What does it want? "There are many males in all of the kais that would be honored to receive your love." He said seriously. I grinned. "Thanks Koenma. That was a huge help." I leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. Instead I felt his lips on mine. Such heaven couldn't exist anywhere else I surmised. When I felt his hand come behind my head to deepen the kiss it sort of snapped me back to reality. I pushed away from him with a look of horror written on my face. What did this mean? He must have seen it for he looked heartbroken but resolute. It was as if he had accepted that what Fate threw at him. I backed up to the door and turned around ready to open it when his voice stopped me. "Botan." I turned around again to look at him. He held a heart shaped box of chocolates in one hand and sky blue roses in the other. I was about ready to cry. "Happy Valentines Day. I'm sorry that it turned out so bad for you." I had forgotten about that Ningenkai holiday where the one you love gives you something to express their love and you give something back. Except here I had nothing. I could hear that whisper now. It told me that I was in love with the demon prince. It all made sense now.

I ran back to him bypassing the desk. I ran straight into his arms and hugged him. "All I have to give you is my love. Will that be enough?" I asked him through my tears.

He smoothed my hair, comforting me. "That gift is much more precious then the one I am giving you. Can you accept a mean tempered busy demon like me?" "Of course I can. All you had to do was ask." This kiss this time was no accident. And this time, when I left his office, I was grinning like a fool.

I am now over Yusuke. How could I not be? He's sweet under all that gruff but then he was never meant to be mine. Koenma is a different story. Koenma has always belonged to be whether or not I was aware of that fact. I think things are going to be ok now.

~ Owari ~

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