Main / Fics / 9.17.00
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It's Too Late
by ARaZhi
arazhi@yahoo.com
<<The raging fire of sadness dies away
As the icy rain continues to pour tonight
Those I love, those I hate,
Are hidden within my aching heart>>
Fire.
Blood.
Terror.
Death.
Fortunes of War.
I close my eyes and wonder again for the nth time how things could have crumbled so fast almost without my knowing it.
For years Reikai has been in control of Ningenkai and the barrier that separates it from Makai. We have always protected it from the likes of Yakumo.
We believed that after the tanteis had defeated Yakumo, he would be put away forever.
But forever was too short...
They came at the dead of night.
The usually bustling hallways of Reikai were silent.
No sound was made as uninvited and unwanted visitors walked the hallways.
It was as though they put everyone to sleep... only to wake up to a massacre...
Alarms blared to life the morning after.
Loud alarms that seemed to be signaling the end... the upcoming end... if it hadn't ended yet.
Enma is on his bed. Seemingly sleeping soundly. But he's dead. Dead.
<<I found I couldn't regret
What I believed in long ago
That a day of parting
Was only destiny's promise...>>
Several oni's are missing. One of them is George.
Some ferry girls are unaccounted for. One of them is Botan.
But worst of all, the prince of Reikai - me - is nowhere to be found.
Reikai is in chaos.
That's what I'm told the moment I wake up in cold darkness. All I can see is pitch black everywhere. It's like being blind!!
"Don't even hope that Urameshi will rescue you!"
A maniacal laugh follows.
"No one can help you! NO ONE!"
Reikai is fallen under siege.
Something bangs shut.
"Koenma-sama?" a voice whispers, weakly, fearfully.
Botan!
I turn towards the voice...
"Where are we, Koenma-sama?"
"I don't know. I can't see anything."
Suddenly, the room is flooded with harsh, white light.
I blink. As my eyes adjust to the light, I realize that Botan is beside me. We are in a large room with several onis and ferry girls scattered several feet away from us.
<<A sorrowful kiss as our hearts go their ways
The past was better for having been together
These undying memories I hold
I'll cherish tenderly, someday.>>
One of Yakumo's minions steps forward to grab me.
Botan steps in front of me.
"Botan!"
"What do you want?! Where have you taken us?!" she demands.
Everything suddenly happens so fast...
But for me, time slows down.
One of the demons tries to hit Botan. Tries to shove her away.
I push the demon back.
In a blink of an eye, we are locked in a struggle. My hand lands hard and fast on the demon's horn. The demon's eyes glow red with anger.
With a suddenness that startles me, the demon shoves me away and a ball of ki begins to form in front of him.
The ball of ki races towards me...
But it never gets to me...
There's a stifled cry of pain...
My heart stops beating.
My eyes begin to water.
"Botan," I manage to choke out as I hold her weakening body in my arms.
"Ko--enma," she smiles at me and lightly brushes her fingertips on my lips.
"Why?" I whisper in a small, tight voice.
"Be--because...I...I lo-love you."
Her hand falls to her side.
Her eyes fall shut.
And my anguished cry shatters the cold, harsh night.
<<Why were we born? Why do we live?
The rain washes away all the reasons
Without anything to follow
Love can be broken>>
Rain pours heavily on the southern outskirts of the Reikai palace.
Time seems to have stood still and before I know it, Yusuke has blasted the chains off my wrists. Together, Yusuke and Kurama drag me away from the palace.
They take me to safety.
Wherever that is.
I don't know where.
And quite frankly, I don't care.
I no longer care.
The rain begins to pour harder without my notice.
My clothes are soaking wet. My skin feels cold to the touch. But nothing can match the coldness of my soul. Of my heart.
I've always wondered if I was born to suffer. Born just to do a boring job that could scare even those ningens who actually like doing routine work.
But time and time again something happens that lightens up my usually dour day.
Especially when I met her. Her brilliant smile and those purple eyes that shone with happiness.
Now, I wonder why I continued to live.
Now that she's gone...
Now that I can no longer see her smile...
Why didn't I just die with her?!
My mind silently screams in rage.
WHY?!
They've always told me that rain water tastes sweet.
They're wrong.
<<The memory of names is a flaming stormy blue
That droplets pierce like a rain of needles
Someone's wail, someone's hopes
Smothered on a corner of some drenched street.>>
Lightning and thunder cut through the dark sky.
I shiver as more rain pours on me like sharp pins pricking my heart and my shattered soul.
In the distance, I can hear someone screaming for help.
Another wailing in pain.
Then the cries are abruptly cut off.
I hug myself tightly and try to hide in the corner as more tears fall.
<<There is nothing I can do,
Even for the one I wanted to protect
Now that one has passed away
And nothing left but to laugh>>
I can see them in my peripheral vision. Tens of demons running and shouting at each other.
Looking for us.
For me.
Beside me, Yusuke, Kurama, Hiei, and Kuwabara tense, anticipating a fight.
I feel weak.
I wasn't able to do anything before.
What good can I do now?
Except to watch them fight...
The way I watched her die.
I wasn't able to protect her.
<<The rain hurts, all is hopeless
Even if the joyous times are torn apart...
I know it is only a vain wish
And the tears gently trickle down>>
...I wasn't able to protect her...
It was like a mantra.
Repeating itself over and over in my head.
...I wasn't able to protect her...
...I wasn't able to protect her...
It's all my fault!!!
It was like a mental shout that sent a violent tremor throughout my whole body.
"It's all my fault..." I whisper softly.
"No it's not!" comes a voice. A very familiar voice.
Botan!
She's standing in front of me, shimmering... and transparent. Like a ghost.
"It's not your fault, Koenma. It never was and will never be."
She smiles at me. Warming up my freezing soul.
She disappears.
"Botan..." I whisper softly.
Around us the atmosphere begins to heat up.
I am barely aware of my friends staring at me as a fiery aura surrounds my body.
Screams of pain rip through the night as the attacking demons become engulfed in flames.
<<Let the rain fall until the fire disappears
Then consign those fleeting dreams to oblivion>>
The fire dies.
And the rain washes away the ashes.
The ashes of the demons...
and the ashes of my dreams.
<<Without anything to follow
Love can be broken
Love is broken>>
I gaze up at the sky.
Hoping that she can hear me.
"...ai shiteru."
Even though...
It's too late.
~ Owari ~
Author's Notes:
Start: 09.16.2000 6:24 PM
Pause: 09.16.2000 6:51 PM - 9:05 PM
9:41 PM - 09.17.2000 3:19 PM
Finish: 09.17.2000 3:54 PM
Revised: 02.24.2001
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