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I Wish
by Botan no Miko
botannomiko@kaworu.net


It's funny to be in my own shoes.

I don't know. Sometimes I wished I wasn't different, like my friends.

Sometimes I wished I was just a normal human being, like all of them...

But no. I think what I am now is a curse.

A soul, an immortal soul, who take souls of the dead away, and whisk them off to a world called Reikai. A soul who had no sense of direction. A soul who had a weird job. A soul with an unusual nature. A soul loved by nobody. A soul who loved people, but remained unloved.

I am different.

No, one person said I am luckier than the rest. He told me he was proud of me, he told me he was happy I am serving him, he told me that his best reikai ferry girl is me. Botan. Sore dakara, I don't know if I should believe him.

He was my friend. He was the one person I feared to disobey. He was the person I was afraid of. And the only one I truly loved.

It wouldn't be long now, before he walks down that aisle with his loved one. Another soul like me, but much luckier than I am.

I never knew it would hurt this much.

I stared at the pink dress I was wearing and smoothed it carefully. Maybe it wouldn't be too bad to wish...that I hope I was the one who's in Ayame's place right now.

I know I shouldn't think so badly about my friend Ayame. But I can't help it. Even now, when she is about to be bonded to my beloved forever, and I would have to bid him goodbye.

The soft, familiar music played softly in the background, and a pretty female voice echoed in my room.

"I wish for your love...I wish for your love, why? Aoi hoshi nee oshiete..."

I was like that girl who was singing. I was a lot like her.

Because I wished for somebody's love. I wished someone would come to love me, take me in his arms, and he would whisk me away to a world, where only him and I would exist. Us, and nobody else.

Too bad my sweetest dream would remain a dream forever. Too bad it won't become a reality.

"I wanna be your love, I wanna be your love, why? Samishisa o korosenai..."

I stood up and left the room, not bothering to turn the music off, and headed to the place where the wedding ceremony would take place.

Reikai wasn't as beautiful like this before. There were bright, pretty lights everywhere. Flowers adorned the pathways, a wistful melody played, the sweet scent of roses wafted in the air, and the romantic atmosphere was way too unbearable for an unhappy creature who would be floating like a ghost in this joyful ceremony.

The ceremony began and went on, and as every single minute passed by, I felt my heart swell with unbearable pain.

At last, the ceremony came to an end, and the man and the woman were pronounced Prince and Princess, husband and wife.

I willed myself not to cry as I stared at him. He looked so happy. He was very proud...and the bride looked just the same.

I stood there in eerie silence, my soul in a trance, my heart lonely and my mind blank.

When I came back to my senses, everyone was gone, gone to the celebration, the feast I dreaded to attend.

I fumbled for something to hold on to, and my hand closed over a long-stemmed rose. The thorns buried themselves into the soft flesh, but I could hardly feel any pain.

My heart breaks. Pain no longer exists.

I closed my eyes and bowed my head. The tears streamed down like a river, and when I opened my eyes again, the salty stream joined the thin film of blood trickling down my wrist.

The soft melody played in the background, and the tears continued falling slowly.

"I wish for your love, tatta hitotsu dake, dare yori mo aisaretai..."

Sayonara, Koenma-sama. Kimi o ai shiteru...eien ni.

~ Owari ~


Author's Notes:
The song "I Wish" is sung by Touma Yumi, Yui-sama's seiyuu in Watase Yuu's Fushigi Yuugi. "I Wish" is Yui-sama's image song. This fic was inspired by Ryquest-sama's "Vows", and by the song "I Wish" sung by Touma Yumi. I borrowed "I Wish" from Fushigi Yuugi. Don't sue me, kudasai!

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